I powered ahead through the depressing outskirts of Niagara Falls and crossed the route 190 bridge to Grand Island. The confusing network of unmarked bike paths in this area had me going around in circles for about half an hour, but I eventually got it all sorted out, much to the relief of the pot-smoking teenagers who kept trying to hide what they were doing each of the three times I passed them.
I can’t say I was exactly happy to arrive at my destination for the day – a KOA kampground - but at least I could get off the bike. The place was an orderly sea of RVs interspersed with fun for the whole family: a bounce pad, paddle boats, playground, 3-wheeled pedal go-kart thingies, a game room, and 2 two swimming pools. Ah, kamping at its most rustic!
I got my site assignment and went to check it out. The ground looked fine, but as I was setting up, I noticed a worrying collection of eight large tents across the street from me. Between the tents was a long canopy under which four picnic tables had been lined up. That’s when I noticed the trailer emblazoned with the Boy Scout’s logo. Ugh! I was going to have a troop of screaming scouts to deal with until quiet hours arrived and then some! I immediately went scouting for another location. At the opposite side of the kampground, I found a row of no-electric/no-water tent sites that would be perfect – and they were closer to the bathrooms! I was about to head to the office and make the switch when I heard a strange sound.
There suddenly came a rushing rumble accompanied by girlish screams. That’s when I noticed that there was an amusement park (Martin’s Fantasy Island) on the other side of the fence that ran behind the tent sites. I was faced with the Devil’s dilemma…ballistic boy scouts or the abusement park? I figured that there was a remote chance the scouts had a strict disciplinarian as their scoutmaster who was a stickler when it came to lights out, but that nothing would shut Fantasy Island up until closing time (whenever that might be). Plus, I was planning to take the next day off and assumed the troop would be off doing something worthy of a merit badge, while the roller coaster would forever be looming over the other sites delivering a fresh ration of screams every 80 seconds all afternoon. I choose to stick with the spastic scouts.
I finished pitching kamp, keeping a wary eye out for the family in the site next to me. It was clear they were from `Merica. How did I know this? If the giant tent with an east and west wing didn’t give it away, then the `Merican flag towels next to the stars-and-stripes bathing suits hanging on their double-decker clothesline certainly did. They returned to their site just as I was getting ready to go find dinner. Mom and Dad immediately began moving, lifting, shifting and organizing everything they had brought for their outing – which seemed to be just about everything they owned. All the while, orders were being shouted at the children to perform additional menial tasks that none of them was able to complete without intense micro-management from one parent or the other. Having fun yet kids?
I walked to the Brick House restaurant (that strangely wasn’t 1.3 miles away) for spaghetti, meatballs and beer. By the time I returned, not only had the `Mericans bedded down for the night, but by the blessing of all the graces so had the scouts! Thank you scoutmaster Adolf Von Ironfist!
What I Learned: KOA hires kreepy old men to drive by your kampsite every ten minutes in yellow golf karts and stare at you as they pass.
Distance Today: 63 miles
Total Distance: 563 miles
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